With Age Comes Wisdom and Respect

Sunday Reflections

Here we are! This is the final of my Sunday Reflections for 2024. I’m going for the bottom line up front with this one.

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There was a time when the adage "With Age Comes Wisdom and Respect" was a cornerstone of human societies. Growing up, after years of listening to my elders, behaving ‘properly’ and being told children should be seen and not heard, I waited for my turn (mind you, at this point I was 5 and considered 30 to be old) —I was confident my time would come.

The eagerly anticipated moment? The one when my own years of experience would be recognized? Celebrated! My insights valued and my voice respected? It’s here! It’s HERE (and definitely far beyond 30, uh-hm) Yet, as I step into the role once revered, I discover the world seems to want to move on just as I arrive. Respect for elder opinions has waned, ageism prevents employment opportunities. The ‘wisdom and respect’ I waited for is being supplanted by the rapid pace of technology, shifting cultural norms and the glorification of ‘youth lifestyle.’

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not done carving my own way. I’m here to stay! But not everyone has the chutzpah or audacity I do. What I realized is that ageism isn’t the peoples’ fault, it’s our culture. It’s something beginning to shift, but could use our help.

So let’s look at what happened. How did we arrive at this point? When and how did older, mature wisdom become dis-valued by society? What can we do to restore balance at what seems like a tipping point in the intergenerational dynamic?

The Erosion of Respect for Elders

If we listen to primatologist and conservationist Jane Goodall,

“You cannot get through a single day without having an impact on the world around you. What you do makes a difference, and you have to decide what kind of difference you want to make.”

We are empowered to do this; now let’s look at what has changed.

1. The Rise of Individualism and Youth Culture 1960s

The mid-20th century marked a dramatic cultural shift toward celebrating youth. The counterculture movements of the late 60s, with their emphasis on rebellion, freedom and self-expression, elevated the value of being young. The ‘Hippie’ generation became the consumer. Advertising and media reinforced this ideal, portraying youth as the pinnacle of innovation and vitality while relegating older generations to the background. Being old became being ‘Square.’ Individualism became the dominant ethos, emphasizing personal achievement over communal wisdom and intergenerational connections.

2. The Technological Revolution 1990s

The advent of the internet and social media fundamentally transformed how knowledge is accessed and valued. Search engines and online platforms provide instant answers to almost any question, reducing the perceived need to seek guidance from elders. As a parent, an inferred you don’t know what you’re talking about while being shown the results of a Google search became the norm. Yet, while being provided what may be ‘correct’ answers, these are not derived by critical thinking. Moreover, the internet's preference for speed and surface-level information has devalued the deep, experiential understanding coming with age. A generational divide emerged as older adults, less adept at navigating new technologies were often unfairly labeled as ‘out of touch.’

3. The Decline of Traditional Family and Community Structures post 2K

Urbanization and increased mobility has disrupted traditional family systems. While it began to take hold in the late 20th century, now the disruption is complete. Where multiple generations often lived together, elders played central roles in guiding younger members. In our 21st century modern societies, nuclear families often live far from extended relatives, limiting opportunities for intergenerational interaction. Travel became a necessary means to connect. Then strained economics reduced the frequency of travel. Zoom visits are considered adequate. As a result, the transfer of wisdom from elder to younger generations has weakened and respect for age diminished due to lack of proximity. New generations are no longer being inculcated into elder generational dialogues.

4. Cultural Narratives of Productivity and Value during the ‘Aughts’

In the early 2000s modern economies began to prize adaptability and technological proficiency, traits often associated with youth’s ability to grasp new concepts. In workplaces, older employees were perceived as less capable of keeping up with rapid change, thus perpetuating stereotypes of obsolescence. The value of faster pace becomes misaligned with better quality. At the same time, societal value shifted toward physical vitality and novelty, sidelining the intellectual and emotional strengths honed through years of experience. Management actually ceased wanting to know the ‘issues’ presented by mature expertise or competence. The merit of experience is dismissed before even being evaluated; by the end of the first decade of the 21st century it costs more to keep a tenured employee than to hire two new shiny objects eager to please.

5. Media and Social Trends 2015

Popular culture—dominated by youthful protagonists, influencers, and trends—begins to shift toward glorifying beauty, vitality and innovation. Older adults, when represented at all, are depicted as comic relief or obstacles to progress. Social media further compounds the issue by creating generational echo chambers, where younger people predominantly interact with peers and rarely encounter elder perspectives. Their way to do it becomes the new way to do it, gaining more followers, encouraging repetition. Older participants on social platforms begin feeling they needed to create a youthful persona in order to ‘keep up.’ Doing things for attention becomes more important than doing things of quality. As a result, small pockets of ‘makers’ begin to surface. This is the beginning of the new Maker Movement which ironically honors the older skills, most often without the older people.

6. Changing Views on Authority and Hierarchies from 1950s to Present

Generational shifts in attitudes toward authority and hierarchy have also played a role. Post-war generations increasingly questioned traditional sources of power, including age-based hierarchies. Respect, once granted by default, must now be earned. This shift, while valuable in promoting equality, has inadvertently diminished the automatic respect once afforded to elders. The identity crisis of each generation since the great wars has grown exponentially for a variety of reasons covered in 1-5 above. Advancements in technology and mass communication (ie., the mobile phone) weigh in heavily. Human integrity does not always align with the ability to adapt. How is one to ‘earn’ respect from those who do not have the desire or experiential vocabulary to evaluate it properly, yet have more power in their hands than what it took to put man on the moon?

Consequences of the Shift

In looking back to Ms. Goodall, let’s decide what kind of difference we want to make. The decline in respect for elder wisdom has profound societal implications. Without intergenerational dialogue, we risk losing cultural and historical knowledge along with the moral and emotional guidance it affords. This is not just about information! These are people, too. Elders are apt to feel isolated, undervalued and disconnected, while younger generations miss out on their mentorship as a valuable asset to help navigate life's challenges. If we listen to poet and memoirist Maya Angelou,

"I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it."

The weakening of these bonds erodes the social fabric, reducing empathy and mutual understanding. As a result, mature generations begin to create their own verticals, determine their own ‘safe’ spaces, narrowing the areas where they can be interfaced. Is this what we want?

Reclaiming Respect for Elders

While the challenges are significant, there are paths we can take with concerted efforts toward restoring balance and valuing elder wisdom:

1. Promote Intergenerational Dialogue: Create opportunities for younger and older generations to share experiences such as mentorship programs, storytelling and community workshops. Create multi-age group requirements when possible in forming teams for clubs and events.

2. Reframe Elders as Experts: Highlight the unique contributions of older adults in areas like sustainable practices, emotional resilience and historical context through media, education and public discourse. A life well lived has many lessons to share! Let’s treat maturity as an on-line Master Class rather than a voice to be ignored.

3. Challenge Ageism in Media: Advocate for representation of elders as complex, capable and influential figures in film, television and advertising. There’s no reason age should be discriminatory. Allow maturity to visually flourish in its own uniqueness. After all, age is just another demographic. Diane Von Fürstenberg once described her wrinkles as lines to the map of her life imprinted on her body.

4. Leverage Technology: Use digital platforms to amplify all voices without singling out elder voices, enabling them to share their knowledge with broader audiences and connect with younger generations. Problem solving comes in all forms and benefits all ages. Bill Gates once said technology as an automation applied to an efficient operation magnifies its efficiency, while automation applied to inefficient operations will magnify their inefficiency. Social media is essentially an automation. Let’s figure out how to use it to magnify growth and connectivity in the right ways rather than allow it to rule and exacerbate our divisions in the wrong ones.

5. Foster Multigenerational Living: Encourage policies and practices supporting multigenerational housing and community structures, fostering daily interactions between different age groups. This exists in many countries! There are many examples of how it works to benefit society as a whole. Even if it’s not our own relative, we can take wisdom and mentorship from the mature citizens who live around us. So let’s fight for it. Let’s not relegate wisdom to senior living compounds. Now that 70 is the new 50, reconsidering 55+ as ‘old’ when it comes to housing is the first step. What is the benefit to multiple generations of clustering over-fifty year olds together?

6. Value Wisdom Over Speed: Reevaluate societal priorities to emphasize thoughtful, informed decision-making based upon critical thinking over impulsive, surface-level actions. While the old adage ‘slow and steady wins the race’ was coined before the digital age, it may be ready for a dusting off to find its new middle ground. In the rush of our day-to-day, when balance is yet to be achieved even in the simplest things, it seems like a lot to ask. However, taking the time to reach out to someone who has ‘been there, seen it, done that’ may just help make something we’re tackling more efficient. We’ve got this if we learn how to reach for experience instead of the quick fix. Let’s push pride aside.

The Conclusion is Inclusion

In this moment we are at an inflexion point. Knowledge and experience of the past is being rewritten, overlorded by agendas ignoring the very wisdoms I had been anticipating to ‘live into’ and enjoy in my own future. Instead, our future is being compromised. An echo chamber is being created about what’s good, what’s bad and how it should be. What are we going to do about it? If we listen to Holocaust survivor and author Elie Wiesel,

"Without memory, there is no culture. Without memory, there would be no civilization, no society, no future."

By embracing the richness of intergenerational exchange, we can create a future where wisdom and respect transcend the barriers of age in order to avoid ignorance. As the world continues to evolve, we have an opportunity to blend the best of both: The vitality and adaptability of youth with the depth and wisdom of age. Restoring respect for elders is not just about honoring the past; it is about building a more compassionate, cohesive and resilient society—one which can better withstand the challenges we face now and in the coming years.

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Being unafraid of our age has always been a superpower to me. The work of Cindy Sherman embodies this more than any other artist I can think of. A testament to the infamous Dylan Thomas “Do not go gentle into that good night” —when she says, “I’m not going to go into this aging process silently or happily…” her images show us the conflicted real story of what it means to age in our western society.

Do you have an ageism superpower icon?

Resources—

Christopher Lasch, "The Culture of Narcissism" (1979)

Thomas de Zengotita, "Mediated: How the Media Shapes Your World and the Way You Live in It" (2005)

Nicholas Carr, "The Shallows: What the Internet Is Doing to Our Brains" (2010)

Sherry Turkle, "Alone Together" (2011)

Robert Putnam, "Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community" (2000)

Stephanie Coontz, "The Way We Never Were: American Families and the Nostalgia Trap" (1992)

Yuval Noah Harari, "Homo Deus: A Brief History of Tomorrow" (2015)

Douglas Rushkoff, "Throwing Rocks at the Google Bus" (2016)

Ronald Inglehart, "Cultural Evolution: People's Motivations Are Changing, and Reshaping the World" (2018)

Marshall McLuhan, "Understanding Media: The Extensions of Man" (1964)

Joseph Campbell, "The Hero with a Thousand Faces" (1949)